How to Manage Your Emotions While Growing an Online Business

When we look at the number one reason why businesses fail it’s usually attributed to running out of resources. Most entrepreneurs talk about these resources in terms of money. But what we see more often is business owners running out of their emotional resources.

There’s no doubt about it; growing a business can be a very emotional journey. You have taken a big leap, often changing your life for your new endeavor, and sometimes investing a lot of money. It’s natural to have emotions tied into your thought process about your business because it’s a part of you. In order to be effective while growing your online business, it’s critical to know and understand how to manage those emotions. If you can learn to self-coach, manage your mind, and move away from any emotional state to a more productive one, then you can effectively problem solve.

The Map of Consciousness: A Transformational Tool
When things become challenging and we want to manage our emotions around business, we at Thrive Virtual look to a tool called the Map of Consciousness created by Dr. David R. Hawkins. He details the Map of Consciousness in his book entitled, Power vs. Force. This method helps business owners master personal leadership and not make reactionary decisions from a place of enthusiasm. This works because knowing how to manage our emotions, no matter where we are on the emotional spectrum, allows us to be more effective in business.

Tracking Our Emotional States
Dr. Hawkins tells us that we can track our emotional states as we move through them. He went so far as to test the resonance of the most common emotions. Each of our emotional states resonate at a certain frequency; 20 being the lowest, and 1,000 being the highest. Imagine it like a dimmer switch in a room: if the switch is at the lowest setting (darker), that represents our lowest resonating emotional state, which is shame.

Our thoughts and decisions are based on the resonance of where we are emotionally at that time. As you have probably experienced, some levels of thinking are productive, and some are destructive to self and society. The goal in understanding and managing your emotions is to anticipate, not react.

The first group of emotional states (low resonance) we go through are not productive to self and society. So, when we talk about creating results in business, there are some states of being that are not effective and will not create the results we want. Read on to learn how to move from an emotional state like fear, upward to willingness.

The 17 States of Emotional Consciousness
Before you can dive into the Heroine’s Business Journey and the process involved there, you want to ensure that you understand the definitions, and the gifts, that come with each of the emotional states. Because along the journey you will likely touch on every emotional state. Keep in mind that this process isn’t about eliminating the emotions, that’s not the goal. Instead, we want to know what to do when each emotion bubbles to the surface.

To best illustrate how the emotional states are mapped out, see the chart below. Then we will dive into each of them, starting at the bottom with shame.

SHAME: Shame is the first of the eight lower resonating emotional states. It’s low, dark, and slow moving. Shame sounds like: ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I don’t like who I am’, ‘I feel lonely, separate, and alone’.

GUILT: Guilt makes us ask: ‘Why did I do that?’, ‘Why did I say that?’, ‘How can I fix this?’, ‘I feel so badly’.

APATHY: Apathy is like a victim. It makes us say: ‘It’s not my fault’, ‘He or she did this to me’, ‘No one is ever there for me’, ‘I feel stuck’. When you are in this state, you look at who, deep down, you blame for how you’re feeling. It’s important to note that shame blames self, while apathy blames other. When you are feeling apathy, you have permission to do the blame game, in a safe way. We recommend tackling it through journaling.

GRIEF: Grief will sound like: ‘I can’t let go’, ‘I feel such a loss’, ‘I can’t let go of how I wanted it to be’, ‘I am so sad’.

FEAR: Fear comes through as: ‘I’m afraid’, ‘I’m afraid to take action’, ‘I’m afraid it might not work out’, ‘I’m afraid of the unknown’.

DESIRE: Desire will sound like: ‘I can’t keep living this way’, ‘I want more’, ‘I deserve more’, ‘I wish ___’. At this point on the map, you will feel the energy increasing as you move up in resonance.

ANGER: Anger will manifest as: ‘I’m tired of not getting what I want’, ‘I’m angry’, ‘I’m not going to accept this any longer’. However, we can use our anger like jet fuel! It can power us up into the higher states, if we don’t let it implode back into us. This is when you are close to the breakthrough. When we know how to use and harness the power of anger we go from wanting results, to achieving results.

PRIDE: Pride can be identified by: ‘I’ll do something about it’, ‘I know I’m right’, ‘I’ll prove’, ‘I’ll do something about it’. Pride can use anger to spur into action. A healthy sense of pride can be positive.

COURAGE: Courage is the bridge on which you cross over to the higher resonating states! It sounds like: ‘I must do what is right’, ‘I feel something powerful within’.

NEUTRALITY: Neutrality can be recognized when you think this: ‘I need to rise above this situation and see the bigger picture’.

WILLINGNESS: Willingness sounds a lot like: ‘Let’s make it happen’, ‘Let’s get it done’, ‘Stop blaming’.

ACCEPTANCE: Acceptance feels good. It feels like: ‘I am letting go of control’, ‘I will do what I can, then let it be’.

REASON: Reason can be recognized by: ‘There are two sides to every story’, ‘I seek the truth’.

ENLIGHTENED LEVEL: At the enlightened level you say: ‘I love myself and you regardless of appearance. It is global and unchanging’.

LOVE: Love is a beautiful state to reach: ‘I am grateful beyond measure. I am overflowing’.

JOY/PEACE: When you reach joy and peace you realize: ‘Let my life be an instrument for greater good. Good will drives my choices’.


Recognizing and Embracing Your Emotions as a Resource
When we see people giving up on their dream, not succeeding with their business, (or seemingly achieving effortless success), we should think about where they are on this map. Where are they resonating emotionally?

Can you work your business while deep in shame, or fear? Yes, but it’s painful. When we are working while in the higher states, such as courage and willingness, it’s a very different experience.

As you can see, the Map of Consciousness helps you celebrate and embrace your emotions and see them for what they are: a powerful resource. They can help move you forward regardless of what’s happening on the outside, and keep you in the power position.

How to Change Your Emotional Resonance
How can you begin to move the needle on your dial of emotional resonance? First you need to identify your default emotion. We tend to have bookends on the spectrum: our lowest state that we go into, and our highest. You can start to move those bookends up, as you become aware and embrace your map of consciousness.

The reason you would want to shift your bookends is because along with creating results in your business you want to actually feel good too. We can manage our attitude and mindset through radical self-awareness, honesty, and self-coaching. Self-soothing and self-coaching is a good hack for continuing to work your business regardless of how long it’s taking, or the outside criticism you’re receiving. Moving into an emotional state that is productive and feels good sets you up to build your legacy through your business.

Looking in the Mirror: Self Awareness and Honesty
We have developed a list of questions you can ask yourself while you work through your Map of Consciousness. Once you identify your default emotion, you can start there, and move up with the remaining questions. Give yourself permission to spend time on exploring your answers to these questions. Really sit with them and dig deep. You may spend more time on some questions that others, and it’s okay if something brings up a lot of emotions for you.
We suggest journaling about some of those thoughts and emotions. Keep in mind that all the answers won’t come quickly or easily. You can continue to work on your honest answers–for years even–and that’s okay!

Following are questions to ask yourself while working through your Map of Consciousness:

1. Shame: What happened that made me feel so worthless and ashamed?
2. Guilt: Why do I feel so badly? What did I do, or didn’t do, that I wish I could change?
3. Apathy: Deep down, whom do I blame for my situation? (Hint: be honest)
4. Grief: How did their actions hurt me, change me, or keep me stuck?
5. Fear: What fears are stopping me from moving forward?
6. Desire: If I was not afraid I would ______
7. Anger: Am I willing to remain disempowered? Am I waiting to be saved?
8. Pride: Don’t I deserve better? How does my situation deserve better?
9. Courage: What would courage have me do? (This is the state that moves us forward)
10. Willingness: Am I willing to do it?

Managing Emotions Leads to Greater Business Impact
Once you have gone through the map you then arrive in a place where you can quickly move yourself into an empowered, productive emotional state, regardless of what’s happening around you. When you cross the courage bridge you become effective to self and society. Working the Map of Consciousness will not only support you in feeling empowered and in control emotionally, but will lead to your success in business, and creating a bigger impact.